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Monkey Picker Uppers!


When you wake up in the morning does your mind immediately wander to how much you need to do today and how you are going to juggle everything to make sure everyone is happy? Can I make a suggestion? Give up on that idea! You and I will NEVER make everyone happy. It is not our responsibility.

People, are people, are people and if you and I allow it, we will be overwhelmed with their needs and wants to the point that we are burdened down with responsibility that is not ours to carry.

What is a Monkey Picker Upper? Individuals who are overly eager and although they are usually conscientious and have good intentions, they can be real hazards.

At no time were we meant to be everyone's answer to everyone's problem.

"Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys”.

Scenario: Working Mom outside of the home, family of 4, son Joey is 8 years old and their daughter Jill is 12 years old.

  • Before leaving for school, instructions were left for Joey and Jill to do chores when they get home.

  • Mom off to work – after a full day, as she is leaving the office she notices that her co-worker didn’t complete the assignment that was due in the morning for their meeting. Rather than letting her know, she picks up this monkey and is running late a half hour because of it. Then she is off to the grocery store, and then home.

  • She pulls into the driveway at 5:30 pm and she notices that the recycle box and garbage cans are at the end of the driveway.

  • Knowing that she asked Joey to look after this job after school, she thought it would be easier if she just did it herself then to go inside and confront him and listen to him complain about it - SHE PICKED UP AND FED JOEY'S MONKEY.

  • She walked into the kitchen to find milk on the counter, cookie bag open, school bags on the floor and Joey is watching TV eating a snack.

  • Rather than disrupt Joey and ask him to turn the TV off and address the issue, she put the milk away, closed the cookie bag and opened the book bags and proceeded to take out the papers and left over lunch items and hang the bag up - SHE PICKED UP AND FED JOEY'S MONKEY.

  • Her daughter Jill was left instructions on a piece of paper to set the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher that were left on the counter from breakfast, but a friend came over and rather than disturb her and her friend, she set the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher and started supper - SHE PICKED UP AND FED JILL'S MONKEY.

  • Her daughter asks if her friend can stay for supper while her friend is standing beside her and instead of saying NO not tonight, like she knew she should, she said YES because she didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings.

  • Her husband walks in the door from his full day at work and before he hardly gets in the door she starts passing the monkeys onto him by letting him know how irresponsible the children were and how he needs to do something about it because she's had enough. By the end of the evening, she has transferred all of her monkeys onto her husband, and she felt better. Meanwhile He was left with it to deal with and had she looked after her responsibilities, she would not have had to pass on any of them to him.

Abraham Lincoln stated, “You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could do for themselves.” Dwight Moody had a quote that I like – “It is better to train ten people than do the work of ten people. But it is harder. Let’s face it, it takes effort, consistency and patience to train our kids the way God has asked us to. God wants us to always be willing to take inventory and change whatever needs to be changed in our lives. When He shows us an area that is out of balance, He is always ready to supply the power to change it if we are willing. If we can discover who is responsible for what, we have an opportunity for change. Responsibility empowers us to have a good life - Matthew 25:21.

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Selwyn Outreach Centre

2686 Lakefield Road,

Selwyn, Ontario

K9J 6X5

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